Wed recap: My biggest fear almost realized!

Ok, so to officially get the wedding recaps underway (I'll still have some honeymoon recaps mixed in sometimes, too), I wanted to start with what happened on the morning of the wedding...or rather, I should start with the night before the wedding at bedtime:

I had wanted to get to bed at a decent hour.  We had to be at the venue by 7:45 am and it was going to be a long day!  I didn't end up getting into bed until like 10 pm or so.  And then I laid there for a while before I finally fell asleep.  My bestie, BM L from Idaho had flown in that day and was sharing the room with me.  I tried not to keep her awake.  I wasn't going to chance taking even half of an Ambien because my reaction the night before left me feeling a little nauseous and icky in the morning and I definitely didn't want that on the wedding day.  Well, no such luck!

I finally fell asleep and then woke up hours later.  When I glanced at the clock, it was only 3:30 am!!! What the heck?!?  Seriously?  Didn't the sleeping gods know that I *needed* to get a good night's rest on this of all nights?!?  Wasn't meant to be.  I laid there for the next several hours and never did fall back asleep.

We finally got out of bed about 5:30 am I think.  I was doing okay and even blogged a little sneak peek of my hanging wedding gown.  After showering, we packed everything into the cars and were getting ready to leave.  And I just was not feeling good...not at all! 

I sat down on the couch and my mom, bestie L and Little Miss (daughter) came over to me and asked how I was doing.  I told them I felt like I was going to pass out or puke.  I wasn't sure which one but I was not good.  I had put my feet up on the table to try to keep blood flowing well so I wouldn't pass out.  I grabbed a gatorade and they asked me if I needed anything else.  I told them I was so mad that I did *NOT* want to feel like this on my wedding day.  BM L tried to calm me down by rubbing my back.  What a sweetie...oh, here she is with me by the way:

So anyway...nothing was working.  I stuck my head between my knees and began praying "Lord, please just let me feel good on this day...please!"

We got into the car and made a quick stop at Starbucks where we got me a muffin and some oatmeal to try to help ease my anxiety and tummy or whatever the hell it was that was ailing me.  Just to be safe, we brought a blow up air mattress and blanket for me to lay on at the venue if I needed it.  We stopped to pick up my BM cousin E on the way and then before I knew it, we were there.

As soon as we arrived, I was in heaven!  I was so excited to be at my venue on the wedding day.  It was a little cloudy but the sun was peeking in and out.  My hair and makeup artist was there and already mostly set up ready to begin so we threw BM E into the chair and had her start straight away.

While that was going on, we unpacked the car...we had brought with us:

*  The steamer that my seamstress let us borrow to steam the dresses as needed.  (Which I blogged about while we steamed dresses)

*  An ice cooler full of drinks (water, gatorade) and snacks, veggies, fruits and sandwiches and such to keep us all (but mostly me) eating throughout the morning and for lunch.

*  My gifts for the BM's (they already received everything but the parasols by this point)

*  My special surprise sign for Mr Fix It that his nephew, one of our Ring Bearers would carry down the aisle

*  All the extras you need on your big day:  The marriage license, rings, makeup, garter, shoes, jewelry, undies/bras, my Victoria's Secret gel inserts to give me some extra cleavage and extra copies of the ceremony script, Grand Entrance script, etc.

*  And of course, all the dresses which we hung as such:

(Notice the cute little black satin padded hangers with the little bows I gifted the girls for their dresses?  You can't see it in this pic but there is a little silver charm with each girl's initial tied onto the bow.  And that white one on the left is my reception dress.)

I had BM L jump in a car with me and drive up to the main entrance where we placed my 'This Way to the Wedding' sign out by the main gate.  Blogged about that, too and glad I did because my photographer did not get a shot of the sign set up. :)  The sun was out a little and pretty at this time.

Then my videographer arrived...yeah, at like 8:15 am when I had not planned on him arriving until noon!  I was so shocked and excited to see him and his wife there.  I told him where to park and he said he was going to start setting up and walking the property to familiarize himself with it. 

BM L and I headed back to the bridal cottage (prep area) where it was almost time for her to get her hair and makeup done.  While that was going on, BM cousin E helped me steam some of the girls' dresses.  All this prep stuff was a good thing...because it was keeping me busy and keeping me from thinking about being anxious or feeling dizzy.  As long as I was moving and had people around me keeping me talking and doing things, I was feeling good for sure!  And that's how the day went...but it didn't last the whole day.  Because unfortunately there were 'down' moments where everyone was running around me but I was left sitting in a chair by my lonesome.  Those moments allowed me to sit alone with my thoughts and start to get anxious and wonder if I'd pass out or not.  And so throughout the day, you'd hear me saying "Someone talk to me or give me something to do.  I'm gonna pass out if you don't keep me busy!"  Seriously...I was over it.

Here you see me sitting in a chair waiting for the guests to be seated so that the ceremony can start...these are some super fun shots of how crappy I looked when I was not feeling good (I have to thank BM cousin A for snapping them):

(Yeah, you can't really put your head between your knees with a wedding gown on!)

Aren't those just so great?  NOT!

More to come on this fun topic...but for now...

Today's tip:  Do what you can to get a good night sleep the night before, but if you want to try sleeping pills, test them first days or weeks before the big day to see how you react to them.