Wed recaps: My one bridezilla moment

Today is June 4th...it's a special day.  Know why?  Because today, both my mother *AND* my sister celebrate their birthday.  That's right, baby sis (MOH J) was born on my momma's 20th birthday :)  Kinda cool I think.  To celebrate, we are renting a little electric boat to ride around in Newport Beach harbor...we're bringing some pizzas and wine and sodas and hanging with my sister's hubby and my little niece and nephew, my mom, me, Mr Fix It and Little Miss.  Good times.

So today, on the birthday of my sweet MOH baby sis J, I want to share with you the one bridezilla moment I had on wedding day.  And I am so *NOT* proud of it!  I wish I could have a do over!

This is me and my baby sis MOH J:

Isn't she gorgeous?

She worked her little behind off that day...she showed up around 9 am I think and was helping my mom with unloading cars full of food, gowns, accessories, and so on.  She did things that the photographer and coordinators asked her to help with and followed me around all day carrying my train and straightening my gown.  It really started with her picking up this bad girl and getting her ready for entry when it came time for me to get dressed:

Then there was the following me around like a shadow as the train keeper:

And the train straightener...for both pre-ceremony photos:

And during the ceremony:

She looked adorable as she walked her son, Ring Bearer PJ down the aisle...look at the sun shining on her like she's an angel!

And made me laugh during the great toast she gave at our reception (more in a future recap):

But for some reason, it didn't seem like she was around me that much on the actual day of the wedding.  Looking at these pics, it's obvious she was doing her duties well.  And let me tell you, she really wanted to give a toast at the reception but she is deathly afraid of public speaking so this was a truly stressful thing she was thinking (and worrying) about all day.  She rocked it though...can't wait to share with you from the video!

The unfortunate thing was that we did all of our photos before the ceremony...right during her son and daughter's nap time.  And my little nephew really needs his naps.   So I was truly disappointed that he is not in ANY of our shots taken before the wedding...not in the one shot I got with me and the other 3 ring bearers and flower girl and not in the shots we took with our immediate family :( 

When he finally did show up on the day of the wedding, he was apparently still tired and hubby was having a hard time getting him into his tux.  So my sis had to run off to handle him...she wasn't real happy about that hoping Daddy could have handled it along with his mother (Grandma Kiki) because she was busy enough as the Matron of Honor. 

Then earlier when we were wandering the grounds for photos I had another maid come along to carry my bouquet and train because my sis was nowhere to be found.  Apparently the coordinators or someone asked her for some help.  I didn't know that at the time. 

Later, when it was time for our first look, I was standing by myself getting ready to walk.  And none of my maids were around me...I learned a little trick where I would pick my train up over my arm and then spin around in a big circle...as I was spinning, I would throw (release) the train of my gown and it would fly out around behind me and land perfectly unfolded and flat and laid out behind me.  Pretty neat, huh?  The videographer even asked me to do it again at one point to try to catch it on film.

But at some point during this little trick I happened to say the following:

"Yeah, I had to figure out how to handle all this myself since I have the worst Matron of Honor ever!  Here's a hint, don't ever ask someone with kids to be a bridesmaid!"

There were a few family members and vendors around when I said it...and my sis was there, too :(  She looked at me and I know she said something back to snap at me.  I felt really bad after the words came out of my mouth.  I tried to eat the words back up saying "Well, I just mean you have other things to tend to and worry about."  But it was too late...the bridezilla in me got out for that brief moment and it was a truly horrible thing to say.  I really didn't even mean it...I mean, she went above and beyond.  So I profusely apologized that day and on the day after the wedding and a few times after we got back from our honeymoon.

So that was it...the one thing that I did that I was not proud of.  Thankfully, my loving sister is full of mercy and forgiveness and doesn't let those things linger once we've made amends and moved on.  :) 

I didn't need to say it like that, but as much as I hate to admit it, my wedding tip for today does come from a bit of truth in my mean girl comment:

TODAY'S WEDDING TIP:  Truly consider the roles and responsibilities you expect of each of your maids when you ask them to be a member of your wedding party.  Every single one of my maids had children, jobs and other commitments that made it very difficult to get them together or to have them help with wedding related appointments, to-do's and tasks.  If the people you want to stand up with you and assist you in your planning process have children, very involved work schedules or other responsibilities or relationships that may prevent them from giving you every bit of time and attention you'd like, you may want to consider whether or not to ask them to be in the wedding.  Or if you do, then remember not to have high expectations. 

I have to say, I would have had no other woman next to me on that day and my sister went so far above and beyond through all of the planning process with helping me design stationery, assemble favors, go shopping, and attend to all of my needs on the wedding day.  I was very blessed with the amazing and thoughtful shower and bachelorette party she threw me and all the time she found outside of her wifely and motherly duties to make me feel very special...and for that, I want to wish my baby sis, J the most amazing birthday ever today!  (And of course a huge birthday shout out to Mom, too!)

Here's the only shot I have of me and Mom on our wedding day thanks to my wonderful cousin, Bridesmaid A!

A wedding recap - spots on my dress!

Ok, so I told you there would be no order to my recaps.  I know I started off with a couple honeymoon recaps but if I did that for two weeks straight, I might lose you.  So I thought I would share a few pics and a story about something every girl dreads on her wedding day - spots and stains on your gown.

Plus, I've also decided that at the end of each of my wedding recaps I will leave you with a small tip, words of wisdom, experienced advice or suggestion from the lessons I learned that will hopefully help you in your future planning process and on your big day.

Now mind you, I got married at an outdoor venue with a zoo.  So if you plan to do ANY pictures or wedding related events outside in your dress, just simply plan on the fact that you will in fact get some type of dirt or stain on your gown.  No way around it.  In fact, even if you don't step outside at all in your dress, unless you are wearing something that is above your ankles, people will step on it, food will get near it, and just a dirty floor in general are bound to stain that beauty.

Looking back, I was a horrible blogger bride.  I did not get photos of lots of little things (like the spots on my gown) that I knew I would blog about.  So forgive me for my lack of images in a lot of these recaps.

Anyhow, here is a pic of me in the pretty little Maggie Sottero SaBelle gown that I donned on April 16th (remember I have no pro pics yet):

And here's one showing that lovely train in all it's beaded, embellished, laced glory:

Here's a pic of my mom and niece checking out the zoo at the venue the day before during the rehearsal:

And here's one of my mom and my nephew (one of the ring bearers) and his other grandma sitting on the bench at the venue during the rehearsal:

Why am I showing you these random pics of the zoo and the bench?  Well, notice the things on the ground in those pics?  Dirt...and grass.  And even on the concrete areas of the venue there were leaves and dirt.  Now mind you, this venue, they keep it in tip top shape.  The night before your wedding from 3 am to 7 am, they have a cleaning company come in and sweep and hose everything down.  So it's not like it was filthy.  This is just what happens when you are, well, outside, DUH!

Now try to walk around and maneuver something like this throughout these type of grounds:

Needless to say, I got some great stains on my gown.  As I mentioned, if you plan on walking anywhere outside (and especially if you have a train), you will most definitely get your dress dirty.  Underneath my train was covered in dirt.  The top was not that bad, but it was not spot clean either.  At one point, my photog had me sitting on one of the little ledges in front of some shrubs and trees to get photos with my girls.  Later, while we were standing around, I noticed that there was a huge yellow stain of pollen from the flowers on the back side of my gown right on my waist.  Totally noticeable. 

I called over my coordinator and some BM's and asked them to get the bar of white ivory soap and the washcloth I had brought in the bridal cottage to do some spot cleaning.  My seamstress suggested using a bar of pure soap and washcloth to dab at stains rather than a stain remover type pad.

Well, the wash cloth and soap did little to assist in the removal of the stain.  Of course, my lovely coordinator Amanda had SHOUT stain remover pads in her waist belt.  So after realizing my seamstress' idea was not working, I gave her the go ahead to use the SHOUT.  And thankfully, the little yellow spot came almost completely out. 

Everyone around me was freaking out about the stain and the girls were shocked at how relaxed I was about the whole thing.  I am a type-A total control freak, perfectionist, stress-case weirdo about a lot of planned things in my life.  But I had resolved myself to the fact that nothing was going to upset me on our wedding day.  And I stuck to just that.  (Now granted, a few things have upset me about the wedding day after the fact, but you'll have to wait for future posts to read about those.)  So if they hadn't gotten the yellow stain out, I wouldn't have cared...after all, it was on the back side and if it showed up any pics, they could have photoshopped it out.

However, after we were completely done with all of the photos, once the guests started arriving just before the ceremony, I had my sister and BM Cousin A go out on the back patio with me and they inspected my entire gown and dabbed away with the soap and cloth to try to get some of the dirt stains out.  It wasn't horrible and they did a good job.

But believe me, this was not the last of my unfortunate encounters with stains on my dress...the best was yet to come...and at the worst possible moment!!!  (Stay tuned in a future recap)

Today's tip:  Be sure to understand what will happen in getting your dress dirty on wedding day.  Don't think it won't happen no matter how careful you are.  Be prepared!  Bring with you in your emergency kit:  water, pure bar of soap, a *white* wash cloth, stain removing pads, club soda, paper towels, Tide Eraser pen, etc. 

And the BEST thing that my coordinator had on her:  WHITE CHALK!  That little yellow stain of pollen, Amanda said that white chalk can be gently rubbed over most wedding gown stains to help 'hide' them on your big day.  I don't know if she had to use it or not because I think we got most of it out, but it was there in her hand at our disposal.